REBIRTH IN THE DARK: A STORY OF BREAKING, BREATHING, AND BECOMING

There are days when life doesn’t break you once.

It breaks you again and again, in quiet corners where no one is watching.

And today… I am writing from that corner.

I don’t know how to explain this feeling.

It sits inside my chest like a heavy stone—

suffocating, burning, tightening—

as if something is stuck in my throat and refuses to move.

I want to cry, but then another voice inside me says:

“Will crying solve it?”

No.

So I breathe.

I try.

And I try again.

Everyone says, “Trust the process.”

I did.

I worked hard for a whole year.

I followed the steps.

I believed the universe had aligned.

Everything seemed on track.

And then—

as if life enjoys irony—

everything collapsed in one single stroke.

This… is the real world, I guess.

The place where stability is an illusion and certainty is a myth.

Where you plan your journey,

and life laughs and changes the entire route.

And suddenly you’re standing there,

lost, confused, drained,

whispering to yourself:

“I don’t know what to do next.”

When Even Breathing Feels Like Work

Last to last night…

I felt emotionally and mentally exhausted.

Heavy… like someone placed the whole sky on my shoulders.

It felt like a reality check I never asked for.

And maybe—

just maybe—

this is what growth feels like.

Not glamorous.

Not inspirational.

Not like motivational reels.

But like every single cell of you breaking,

burning,

disintegrating—

and then you picking each cell back with your own trembling hands.

Is this neuroscience?

Is this spiritual rebirth?

Is this adulthood?

I don’t know.

But maybe…this is what becoming looks like.

The Unpredictability of Life

Life is unpredictable.

You never know what the next second holds.

Nothing is permanent.

Everything is flowing like water.

People come and go,

phases come and go,

emotions rise and then fade.

And at the end of it all,

there’s only one truth left:

You.

You are your own constant.

You are your own truth.

If there is a problem,

only you can deal with it.

The world loves frequency, energy, vibe—

nobody willingly stays with someone who is breaking.

And that’s okay.

Because the universe teaches you something quietly:

“Be your own person.

Be your own protector.”

So thousands of times in a day,

when I break down,

I also whisper to myself:

“Babygirl, you’ve got this.

Get up.

Try again.”

This is what rebirth feels like.

I survived the day.

Sometimes surviving the day is the biggest achievement.

“The Bhagavad Gita says:

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।

You have the right to action—not to the fruits.”

So I act.

I try.

Even when the wind is against me.

Even when life feels messed up.

Even when my path is full of fog.

People see me as the strong girl who always says,

“It's okay, hard days pass.”

But inside me…

there is a girl who suffocates,

who cries,

who feels overwhelmed—

but never gives up.

A girl who pats her own head at night.

Who sings lullabies to herself.

Who hugs herself when loneliness crawls in.

She is a phoenix.

Not because she wants to be,

but because life forced her to burn and rise again.

The Lonely Night

Last night, I went to the temple.

Two lanes away.

I sat quietly trying to meditate…

but my mind felt hot, blurry, restless.

I came home, slept early, woke up at 11 PM.

No phone.

No internet.

Just silence.

Silence so loud that it hurt.

I tried breathing.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

I tried mantras.

I tried stiffening my body and then relaxing it.

Still no peace.

And then, in that moment, a realization hit me like lightning:

No one is with you in this dark phase.

Not really.

Not at 2 AM when your heart feels heavy.

Not when you're burning inside.

Not when you can’t sleep.

No one.

And yet—

I was there for myself.

Holding myself together.

Again.

And it struck me:

“Maybe this was the lesson.

Maybe the universe is teaching me to choose myself again.”

No one can make me happy.

No one is responsible for my happiness.

I was born alone.

I will die alone.

And in between…

I must do my karma.

Rediscovering Myself

Maybe this phase is here to show me:

• People come and go.

• Opportunities come and go.

• Plans break.

• Expectations shatter.

• Unplanned things happen.

• Life falls apart without warning.

  
  

And yet…

I remain.

My spirit remains.

My essence—

gentle, kind, loving—

remains.

Bad times define us.

They reveal who we are under pressure.

How we handle storms.

How we treat people when we ourselves are breaking.

And this phase taught me something rare:

I will never lose my kindness.

Even when the world becomes cruel.

Because kindness is not weakness.

It is strength.

It is clarity.

It is truth.

When Everything Falls Apart

This year, life changed in one unexpected stroke.

Career, dreams, stability, relationships—

all shaken.

I gave everything I had.

My time, my effort, my heart.

And now I stand here overwhelmed,

not knowing what to do next.

And yet…

I wake up.

I follow my routine.

I walk.

I breathe.

I remind myself:

“You are you.

That is your superpower.”

No one on this planet can be me.

No one thinks like me.

No one feels like me.

No one sees the world with my eyes.

This is my beauty.

The Diamond Phase

Nobody chooses to be strong.

I wanted to stay that kiddish girl.

Unbothered.

Uncomplicated.

But the universe…

it forges you.

Like a diamond.

It throws you into the darkest mine

where there is pressure, heat, pain—

until you shine.

And when you come out of that mine,

you don’t come out as the same girl.

You come out as a phoenix.

A warrior.

A soul who knows that she can rise even from ashes.

Sunrise After the Storm

Maybe someday,

when the sun shines bright again,

when new opportunities arrive,

when peace returns,

I’ll read this and laugh.

But today,I write what I feel:

I am breaking.

I am breathing.

I am rebuilding.

I am learning.

I am expanding.

I am awakening.

I am becoming.

And in this becoming—

I am realizing:

I am enough.

I am whole.

I am the love I seek.

And this darkness…is simply my rebirth.